The Fear
by Professional Napper
Summary: When the unthinkable happens, an overwhelming fear grips at Jane Rizzoli's soul. It's The Fear. The Big One. The fear that makes you think that your world is over. Maybe it is. There is some fluffy Rizzles action in this, too, I swear. ;)


**This is just something I couldn't stop thinking about writing and I wanted to try it out before it blew up my brain! I will say that it's LOOSELY based on Gone Girl. Don't get any ideas just because I said that. I'm just trying to give credit where credit is due for the plot. So with all that said, I hope you enjoy and let me know if I should continue this or not!**

* * *

When Jane Rizzoli thinks of her wife, she always thinks of her mind. Ever since their first conversation, she has always wondered exactly _how_ that beautiful brain works. Gently running her fingers through soft, honey blonde waves, she can't help but think how lucky she is to have someone as brilliant as this woman by her side for the rest of their lives. Just as she's about to curl up behind her wife and sleep, the body in her arms stretches a little before slowly turning around, a sleepy smile on her lips as she looks into dark, chocolate brown eyes.

"You should be _sleeping_." Maura Rizzoli whispers as she traces the outline of her wife's smiling face with the tip of her finger.

"I know." Jane whispers back, grabbing Maura's finger and bringing it to her lips for a soft kiss. "Did I wake you up?"

Maura shook her head no before tucking her head under Jane's chin, her arms and legs wrapping around the warm body next to her.

"I love you." Jane whispered into her wife's hair, leaving a few, quick kisses there.

"I love you, most, Jane."

* * *

 _July 11_ _th_ _, 2015 – Present Day_

"I hate mornings." Jane mumbles to herself as she drags two bags of trash behind her, slowly making her way to the curb. The sun is just starting to rise over the houses of Beacon Hill, Boston, Massachusetts, and she is positive that she is the _only_ person awake in the neighborhood. Who else would be up _this_ early?

"I am the only one." Jane once again mumbles to herself as she throws the bags of trash into the trash can and makes her way back to the front door. She takes a moment to stop and stare at the beautiful house that she lives in with her beautiful wife and she honestly can't believe that this is her life. Even in her early morning induced bad mood, she knows that she is the luckiest person in the world and the thought of what is waiting for her inside this house makes her smile and she crosses through the doorway and shuts the door.

When Detective Jane Rizzoli walks into the Boston Police Department, she has all the usual swagger everyone has come to expect from her. This Jane Rizzoli is _nothing_ like the sleepy, whining, Jane Rizzoli that she was this morning. Nope, all she needs a few cups of coffee and she's wide awake and ready to go. She makes her way to the elevators and presses the up button a few times, smiling just a little at the few people in the lobby who glance her way before taking a sip of her third cup of coffee. When the elevator finally arrives, she takes it all the way up to her home away from home.

"Look who decided to grace us with her presence." Frost smirks as he sees his partner walk through the doors, Korsak shaking his head but smiling slightly nevertheless.

"Hey, I woke up before the _sun_." Jane said as she sat the cup carry and small bag of donuts she was balancing down on her desk. "It just took me longer to get ready this morning." Shrugging, she sat down at her desk and turned on her computer.

"Well, I personally don't care if you're late _every day,_ as long as you bring donuts and coffee." Frost said as he walked the few steps to Jane's desk, beating Krosak for the best donut.

"Don't be late _any_ day. Even for donuts and coffee." Korsak glared at Jane as he grabbed his coffee and the jelly filled donut out of Frost's hands and made his way over to his desk. "Maura must not be coming into work today? If she was here, I know you would have been on time." He said as he sat down and smirk at Frost, taking an extra-large bite out of the donut.

Jane couldn't help but chuckle a little at the men she works with before sighing at the thought of why her wife wasn't at work. "She was so sick this morning. Actually, now that I think about it, I was probably late to work because it took me all morning to convince her to stay in bed and rest."

Frost looked around his computer monitor and frowned at Jane. "She must be really sick to miss work. You two put the rest of us to shame when it comes to never taking days off."

"Yeah, it was like…World War Three with her stomach this morning." All three detectives grimaced a little. They had all been there. "I hated leaving her, but we still need to close this case up. She knows that, and the deal was she stays in bed only if I go to work." Jane tapped the large file sitting open on her desk and frowned. "Hopefully she's better by tomorrow. It's going to be our one year wedding anniversary."

"That came fast!" Frost said as he smiled as Jane. "I still can't believe you both finally got your shit together." He glanced at Korsak and laughed as some jelly had fallen out of the donut and onto his shirt. "It took them what, a year to finally start dating?"

"Yeah. We never thought you two would stop wasting time." Korsak shook his head.

Jane shook her head, too and smiled as her head suddenly filled with five years' worth of memories of Maura and her. Loving, laughing, and just being so ridiculously happy and in love.

* * *

 _July 12_ _th_ _, 2010_

Maura carefully weaves her way through the police officers and detectives who crowd The Dirty Robber, glass of red wine in hand, as she tries to find an empty table. All of these people, strangers really, are giving her anxiety and the last thing she needs is to have a panic attack in front of her new coworkers at her own welcoming party. A sigh of relief escapes her lips as she spots an open table at the very back of the bar. Reaching the table, she sets her wine glass down and brushes off the chair covered in popcorn and peanuts before finally sitting down. As she looks around the crowded bar, scanning each face carefully, she can't help but frown. She's being ignored at her own welcoming party.

She just started work at the Boston Police Department as the Chief Medical Examiner and this was supposed to be a way for her to get to know some of the people she would be working with on a daily basis. It didn't seem like anyone was interested in getting to know her though, and honestly she was kind of thankful for that. She had never been someone who thrives in social situations. Her mind just didn't work that way. She did better with cold bodies than with warm ones. Still, she couldn't help but wonder what the point of calling this party a welcoming one was if no one wanted to welcome her to the team.

Taking a sip of her wine, Maura looks over to the door as the bell signals new customers. She instantly recognizes the woman who is laughing very loudly as Angela Rizzoli, the manager of the little café at BPD. She had only been to her new place of employment a couple of times, signing paper work and decorating her office, but she had stopped those couple of times at the café to get some tea, and this Angela Rizzoli had been very kind to her. She had said two of her children worked at the station as well, her daughter a detective and her son a police officer, and Maura could safely assume the two people following Angela were Jane and Frankie Rizzoli, all three shared the same bone structure. Maura continued to drink her wine as she watched the three Rizzoli's make their way to bar, talking to everyone they passed. She wondered what it would be like to float through the crowd and talk to everyone with as much ease as the Rizzoli's.

Maura noticed that the Rizzoli siblings were both very attractive and admired both of them from her table in the corner. For as long as she could remember, she never had a preference for men or women, she found them both to be capable of satisfying her needs. In this case however, she knew she had a preference. She smirked slightly as she took a sip of her wine and continued to watch the Rizzoli's make their way through the crowd of people and disappear on the other side of the bar. So much for hoping that Detective Jane Rizzoli would be different than everyone else here tonight.

Only an hour had passed and Maura was ready to go home to her tortoise. So far only a handful of people had passed by her table and introduced themselves, but most people didn't pay any attention to her. She wasn't surprised or honestly very disappointed. She got up from her table and made her way through the smaller crowd towards the bathrooms, not very eager to use them.

After using the surprisingly clean bathroom, Maura once again made her way through the crowd towards her table in the back, but was stopped by a rather rough hand on her arm. She briefly glanced down at the unwelcome hand before looking into the bloodshot eyes of a very drunk man standing at the bar.

"Hello, Dr. Isles. I don't think I had the chance to introduce myself. I'm Officer Jackson Smith." He leaned in closer as he spoke his slurred words, his breath making Maura a little nauseous.

Maura pulled her arm out of the smirking man's grip and backed away. "It's…nice of you to introduce yourself, Officer Smith." She couldn't say it was particularly nice to meet him but she did hold out her hand as a polite gesture.

Officer Smith only took that as an invitation to step right back in Maura's personal space. "May I just say, it will be so nice to see _you_ down in that morgue instead of Dr. Johnson." He added a slow half wink. Maura dropped her hand and once again took a step back. She had no idea how to respond but thankfully she didn't have to. A few more police officers made their way over to the bar thankfully stood between the two to order drinks. She took this as an opportunity to slip back into the crowd and make her way back to her table.

Maura can't help but pause for a second as she comes to her now occupied table.

"I hate to say this in a cop bar, but it's a little dangerous to leave your drink unattended." Jane gestured to the half full glass of wine, the smallest smirk on her lips.

Slowly taking the seat on the other side of the table, Maura nodded her head in agreement, her eyes looking the other woman up and down appraisingly, if only for a second. "You're absolutely right. It could attract some…desperate characters."

"Like Officer Jack _ass_ Smith over there?" Jane nodded in the direction of the bar before taking a swig of her beer. "Not me." She shook her head, clearly not missing Maura's subtle glance up and down her body, mistaking it for a cautious look and not taking it for what it was. "A word of advice, watch out for that guy. He's not exactly a…gentleman."

"I noticed." Maura subconsciously rubbed her arm where Officer Smith had grabbed her.

The action caused Jane to sit up in her chair a little. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Running her hand over her arm and smiling gratefully at Jane for her concern, she shook her head. "No, he just surprised me, but thank you for asking."

Jane frowned. "He's a dirtball. Let me show you that not everyone at BPD acts like that." She nodded at Maura's glass, her frown replaced with a soft smile. "What are you drinking and can I buy you another one?"

Maura laughed and shook her head, not looking away from Jane's sparkling eyes. "It's just the house red, but you don't need to buy me another drink. I was going to go home now anyway."

"People aren't making you feel very welcomed?"

" _You_ are, Detective Rizzoli." Maura flushed just a little bit at her unexpected flirting tone. Jane simply laughed and started to peel the label off her bottle of beer.

"I'm glad to hear it. How do you know who I am, by the way?" '

"Your mother. She is such a sweet woman." Maura laughed when Jane rolled her eyes. "She is! I've only had two conversations with her, but I can tell she's very nice and she loves talking about you and Frankie."

"I know she does and it's embarrassing!"

"It's sweet!"

"It's embarrassing, trust me." Jane chuckled before relaxing in her chair. "So, Dr. Isles, where are you from?"

Maura also started to relax in her chair. Just a few minutes ago, she was planning on going home to spend the rest of her evening with her tortoise and a good book, but now….now she had the opportunity to talk to Jane Rizzoli and she was going to make this moment last for as long as she could.

"I'm from all over, really. I traveled a lot for school and with my parents, but if I had to call one place my home, I would say right here in Boston. What about you? Have you always lived here?"

Jane nodded and smiled. "Yeah, this is my home. I've never even been out of the state except when I would go on vacations with my family to Italy."

"Italy?! I love Italy!"

Jane couldn't help but laugh at how excited Maura got.

"Sorry." Maura blushed and looked at her drink. "I get excited about stuff like that. Traveling and culture are exciting to me."

"Hey, you don't need to apologize. I still get just as excited as you when I go to Italy."

Maura looked up and smiled at Jane who was drinking her beer, a smile still clearly on her face. Just as Maura was about to ask Jane if she could still take her up on her offer to buy her another drink, the Detective's cellphone rang, and with an apologetic smile, Jane got up from the table and answered the phone. She couldn't help but sigh as she watched the intriguing woman walk to a more private area of the bar, wondering if she had any plans to return to the table and finish their conversation. Jane would most likely get swept up in the conversation she was having on the phone and forget to come back to the table and with that in mind, Maura stood up and started to make her way to the door, saying polite goodbyes to a few people who had introduced themselves throughout the night. She stepped out into the warm air and began making her way towards her car parked at the end of the street when the sound of her name made her turn around and the voice that said her name made her smile.

"So, here's another thing I learned about Dr. Isles, she likes to ditch people in bars." Jane said as she walked up to Maura, a teasing smile on her face.

Maura laughed as Jane joined her in walking down the street. "I wasn't sure how important that conversation was and I was going to head home anyway, remember?" She surprised herself by teasing the brunette back.

"What I remember is you _were_ going to go home until _I_ pulled you into a great conversation."

They both laughed as Maura pressed the automatic unlock button on her keys, her Toyota Prius lighting up. "That _is_ true, Detective. I just wasn't sure if you were coming back or not." She shrugged trying to downplay it.

"I told you not everyone at BPD acts like a dirtball." Jane smiled as Maura opened her car door.

Maura didn't take her eyes off of Jane's as she got in the car, the other woman's hand keeping the door open. "I'm so sorry I misjudged you, Detective. It won't happen again."

Jane grins and looks down at the ground briefly before looking back at Maura. "I like you, Maura Isles."

With those words hanging in the air, Jane shuts the car door and makes her way back to The Dirty Robber.

* * *

 _Present Day_

"What are your plans for your anniversary?" Korsak asks as he glances around the room then quickly licks the powdered sugar off his fingers.

"Maura mentioned something about a treasure hunt." Jane couldn't help but say those words with a groan. Running around all over Boston wasn't exactly the romantic day she wanted with her wife. No, if she had it her way, she would be home with her beautiful blonde, naked, and eating burgers.

"Sounds so exciting, Jane." Frost smirked as he teased his partner, knowing exactly what kind of anniversary plans Jane would rather have with Maura.

Jane glared at Frost and threw a piece of paper at him. "Just wait until you get married, Frost, then we'll see whose laughing. Marriage is full of doing stuff that your wife wants you to do."

"I never did anything that I didn't want to do in my marriages." Korsak chimed in, his words met with laughter.

"That might be why there's an 'S' at the end of marriage, Korsak." Jane said as Frost laughed into his coffee cup. "I still think the gifts I made her are stupid." Jane sighed as her cellphone began to ring.

Frost pointed his finger at Jane and said in a mock angry voice. "Hey, I was the one who told you to write that love letter and make those love coupons! Those are great ideas for the 'paper' anniversary!"

Korsak and Jane laughed as she answered her cellphone in typical fashion.

"Rizzoli... Oh, hey Mrs. Williams, how are you?... Wh… No, that's not… Okay, thank you, I'll be right over."

"What's going on, Janie?" Korsak asked, watching Jane stand up and pick up her car keys.

"Joe Friday is outside without Maura. We never let her outside on her own. Our neighbor, Mrs. Williams, said her husband found Joe wondering around in their yard. They knocked on the front door, but Maura didn't answer." There was a little bit of panic in Jane's voice, which prompted Korsak and Frost to stand up.

"We'll come with you."

"No, that's okay, Frost." Jane waved the men off as she made her way towards the elevator. "I'll let you know what's going on when I get there."

Before either man could argue, Jane was in the elevator going down to the lobby.

Fifteen minutes later, as Jane pulled her car into the driveway next to her wife's Prius, a new wave of panic rushed over her. Maura was home but she wasn't answering the door. How did Joe Friday get out in the first place? Someone had to open the door to let her out. With her heart racing, she quickly got out of the car and started making her way towards the front door.

"Jane!" Mr. and Mrs. Williams were making their way over to Jane, walking as fast as they could in their old age, Joe Friday trotting alongside them.

Joe Friday eagerly jumps at Jane's feet as Mr. Williams shakes his head. "I thought it was strange…Joe being outside alone because we know you two don't let her out without a leash, so we picked her up and brought her over to your house. We saw your wife's car so we knocked on the door. No answer."

"And we were knocking for a good ten minutes." Mrs. Williams chimed in, worry evident in her voice.

Jane couldn't help but look up towards the bedroom window were she left Maura before leaving for work not that long ago. "Thank you for getting Joe." That sentence was all Jane could manage until she went into her house and saw that Maura was okay. She was probably just overreacting anyway. Maybe Maura had taken some medicine and was fast asleep. That was mostly likely it. Not bothering to look back at her neighbors, she quickly walked to the front door with Joe. Just as she was about to dig in her pockets for her key, she saw she wouldn't be needing it. Her heart stopped and everything felt cold. The front door to her house was barely open, but it was open nonetheless. Closing her eyes and drawing her gun, Jane slowly pushed open the door and glanced inside.

"Take Joe." She whispered to her neighbors who immediately called the dog to them and backed away.

Slowly stepping inside her house, Jane knew that she had shut and locked this door when she left. There was no way in hell she would ever leave the door to her sleeping, sick wife unlocked, let alone open. Something was wrong.

"Maura." Jane says her name hoping that she'll hear her favorite voice in the world, but it doesn't come. She makes her way further into the house and looks to the living room. What she see makes her whole body freeze. The living room is covered in shards of glass from an overturned coffee table and a TV that no longer hangs on the wall. She takes one step forward and sees that everything in her once perfect living room is now torn apart and smashed. She also sees blood. A lot of it. _Too_ much of it.

"No."

Jane doesn't even think before she starts running through the house screaming for Maura. Looking for any sign that her wife is in the house…safe…alive. She doesn't find what she's looking for.

Her wife, her beautiful Maura is gone.

Time was lost. The minutes after she walked through the door of her home were no longer in her mind. Jane didn't remember how she ended up standing in the street staring blankly at her house, where police officers, detectives, and CSI team members from a different police department, taped her house off and marked it as an official crime scene. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak. She could hardly even breathe. The only thing that filled her mind was the last time she saw her wife. It seemed like a lifetime ago now, even though it had only been a few hours. She was completely unaware of her friends, family, and half of the police department gathered around her, trying to be of some comfort. It won't work. She doesn't even know they're there.

"Detective Rizzoli."

Her name being said with such force and the hand on her arm shaking her drew her attention to two detectives she had never seen before. She blinks at them.

"Detective Rizzoli, can you hear me?"

A nod.

"Do you want to sit down?"

One shake of the head.

"Detective Rizzoli, I'm Detective Sophia Brown and this is my partner, Detective Aiden Jones."

Jane finally knows who the two mystery people are. Too bad she doesn't care.

"Detective Jones and I are just going to ask you a few questions, alright?"

Jane nodded. She knew what was going to happen before it even started. These questions were going to subtly point to her as the first possible suspect. She forced herself to make eye contact with Detective Brown and waited for the first one.

"How long have you and Dr. Rizzoli lived here?" The question was asked a lot softer than she was expecting.

"Fi-" Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and wiped the tears that were about to fall from her eyes. "Five years. She lived here by herself for almost two of those years but we were friends-" She had to pause and take a moment. "Friends before we started dating and I was here more than my own apartment.

"You're a Homicide Detective and your wife is a Medical Examiner, correct?" Detective Jones asked, not bothering to look up from his notes.

"She's the _Chief_ Medical Examiner, but yes." Jane said with a little bit more anger than she had anticipated.

Detective Brown nodded with a look of sympathy on her face. "Dr. Rizzoli is a brilliant woman, you both are brilliant, actually. We were asked to come investigate this…situation because they wanted people that neither one of you had worked with. We almost had to call in another state."

"I'm sure." Jane replied numbly, glancing around at the unusual amount of law enforcement officials at her house. Half of them were from a different police department and working, the other half were from her own department, all standing around talking quietly to each other and glancing between the house and Jane. "Did you- did you find anything in there?" She glanced at the house before looking at the ground. "Any evidence? Anything?" She's forcing herself to think like a detective but she knows that she's failing miserably. Maura always told her that her "detective skills" never worked with her. She knew Jane was never able to think objectively when it came to her. She was right. Her overwhelming love for the blonde outweighed everything. Always.

* * *

 _July 12_ _th_ _, 2014_

"We just got married!" Jane excitedly whispered to her _wife_ as they stood alone together, under a beautiful tree, just outside of their reception venue.

It had been a very long day for the both of them. From waking up at eight in the morning until now, a little after 3 in the afternoon, neither one of them had slowed down for more than two seconds. It was all worth it, though. They were married. One year of dancing around feelings, long looks and touches that eventually turned into more. So much more. Spending the last three years in the most stable, healthy, loving, and just plain _fun_ relationship that either woman had had in their lives. To this. Marriage. The only thing either of them could think was…

"Finally." Maura breathed, closing the distance between them, making sure every inch of her body was touching her wife's. She wrapped her perfectly manicured hands around the brunette's biceps and let her lips gently ghost over Jane's. "Do you want to kiss me?"

Jane's whole body practically hummed with pleasure. Maura had always known just what to do to make her go crazy with lust. The quiet whispered words, like a secret just between them. The blonde's sweet breath tickling her lips. The feeling of the softest lips she had ever known grazing hers with every word, the words low and seductive, practically a moan. The way her hands squeezed her arms and pulled her closer, like that was even possible. All of those things brought Jane right to the edge just like they always did, but the thing that pushed her over the edge were the hazel eyes that looked straight into her own. Those eyes could do anything to Jane and make her do anything that Maura wanted. Those eyes pushed her off the edge and caught her every time.

Jane brought her hands to Maura's waist as she nodded her head and closed her eyes, ready for the kiss. When it didn't come, her lips formed a pout and her eyes opened to see Maura smiling wickedly. That gorgeous smile that could light up a room only made her want those lips even more. She closed her eyes once again, but this time she didn't wait for the kiss. She moved forward, anticipating lips, but all she got was air.

"Mauraaaaa." Jane practically growled as she opened her eyes to see that Maura had moved her head just out of her reach, her wicked smile growing.

"You know I have to tease you a little, Jane."

Jane's narrowed eyes softened as she watched her wife's face light up with nothing but pure love and joy. It made her heart melt to know that she was the reason for that look. She smiled softly, slowly tracing the curves of Maura's body with the tips of her fingers until both of her hands made their way up to the glowing face.

Stroking both rosy cheeks softly with her thumbs, she brought her forehead to Maura's. "Do you want to kiss me?" Jane asked this time.

Without even so much as a nod, Maura closed her eyes and finally brought their lips together in their first passionate kiss as wives. The first kiss they had shared after saying 'I Do' had been in front of family, friends, and co-workers, so they kept it to a very simple, and much too short, kiss. Now they were alone and free to let all of the emotions of the day out.

Jane softly ran the tip of her tongue over Maura's bottom lip, begging for entrance. The blonde moaned as she opened her mouth and welcomed the deeper kiss she had been craving all day. The slowly coming apart and quickly coming back together of their lips, the moans, the whimpers, the now wondering hands, it was all making Maura's head spin with pleasure. She had never known passion like this and the thought that she had this wonderful woman for the rest of her life caused a few tears to leak out of her eyes. As soon as Jane felt her face get wet, she pulled back, a look of worry now on her face, and gently brushed away the tears from the other woman's cheeks.

"Maura?"

Her name whispered with such care and reverence made even more tears come out. And a laugh.

"Happy tears, Jane. Happy tears." Maura said with a bright smile as she waved one hand in front of her eyes, hoping to stop the liquid before they made a mess of her flawless makeup.

Jane's look of worry instantly turned to a look of adoration for the adorable woman in front of her and she started to gently blow at the last few drops clinging to long lashes. She definitely knew why Maura was crying. The overwhelming happiness in her heart made more than a few tears leak out of her own eyes throughout the day.


End file.
